All good things come to an end, so the popular belief goes. That is what I felt towards the end of my stay in Pune.
Even though I had decent number of days packed for my visit, it somehow never seems enough. The days always seem to pass too quickly and of course you ONLY start having fun when you are ready to leave.
Like last year, this year also the trip was planned to coincide with Baba’s death anniversary. Therefore the chaos and crisis all had the take a back seat. This had to be done.
Somehow losing him has made me long to be physically close to ma. Not that she needs me to, it is more my reassurance that she is still with me. The siblings are, but of course an added plus. It is strange how tolerant his passing away has made me. It has also taught me to smile more often, make additional effort and most definitely appreciate relationships more. Almost a saint I sound such.
I had summed a lot of emotions in the original write up, but let me make this more associative instead.
My baba as I call him still, was an amazing man. With each passing day I feel closer to him. All that he was, all that he taught me has made a better me. His thoughts, his words, his way of life live through me. Many wonder how I can hold all this grief inside and never give in. Au contraire, I mourn the most and express it the best I can. Through my writing I have been able to emote what would otherwise remain bottled inside forever, for this I will forever be grateful to many wonderful people who always encouraged me to write. I remember you saying this ‘how does it matter what you write, what people think or if you are judged. You should write for yourself and be proud of it’. Your stories built my confidence and have helped me to grow, thank you for always being there unconditionally. You know who you are.
I may not be a writer, but then again I also know I don’t have to be.
This trip was also about making new friends, revisiting the old and feeling blessed for the wonderful life it is. My stay made special not just by my family but the extended families all pitched in to make it a huge success. You guys are all amazing; you are my strength and my faith. My boys gave me the warmest welcome back home, so much joy and love and happiness. Who ever said ‘all good things come to an end’ probably never had life continue in celebration such. (Yea, it is my favourite line)
Losing a parent is not about death anniversaries, crying and feeling sorry for ourselves. It is about picking up and move on with happy memories and the strength to see each other make it through. We have one life, we need to make the best of it.
Who says he is gone, he lives forever through us.
Sometimes in thoughts I hear your sound,
With this faith I live that you are always around…